Last Week In Pictures

Here are some favorite moments from last week:

Bubble Party

Story Time

Pump It Up

Happy Wednesday!

xo

bear's mom 

The Bear &The Dinosaur

My Reptile Loving Bear

And of course Gabby Turtle is in tow. How could she forget her favorite reptile when visiting the largest one in the history of reptiles?

I love you my sweet bear!

xo
bear's mom

Bouncing Back To Basics

We took the fisher price jumper down from the attic this weekend so little miss roo could start her bouncing and playing journey in the circular baby saucer. 

And roo, just like her big sister, loves it! It was pulled down on Saturday evening; we cleaned it up and then let roo explore her new gym for the first time. She is just starting to actually jump today, three days later. The new view and toys kept her pretty distracted and it seems that she still doesn't fully realize that it is her that is making the jumper bounce up and down.

So now it is Tuesday and roo happily jumps, plays, gurgles and drools here beside me as I write. It's quite in the house, bear is sleeping and we're both enjoying the afternoon buzz. I have pushed roo's jumper up to the back door so she is essentially outside. She is contently watching the birds fly by, her doggy sunbathe and the leaves flutter in the breeze. You can tell that she is amazed by everything she takes in; her facial expressions show her little brain cranks churning away as she adds this new experience to her brain's 'baby files...' 

I sit and watch and imagine who she's is going to turn into. She looks a lot like bear did at this age with about half the baby chubs. I find it hard to imagine that within a year she'll be talking to us and running right along with her big sister. Life will change again as I will have two toddlers to keep up with. 

This Sunday marks 5 months. How can it be almost 5 months to the day already? 5 months! And, at times, I still find it hard to believe that I'm already with two... even one.

  "You are a miracle..." 

The first two years with bear almost seem like a blur at this point, as we begin to settle in with roo. And even though she's only 5 months along, she belongs to this family as if she's always been here.

And my bear continues to adjust too. You can tell in some way the bouncer is bringing my sweet bear right back to infancy. She can't get enough of the sweet little bouncy tune that goes along with the jumper. And it brings me back too. Back to bear and our first experiences together. 

And today I am happy, bursting at the seams with it!

xo

bear's mom

Getting Back To Happy (The Baby Blues - Part Two)

Things are getting better. I've made some tough choices over the past day or so but I know it will all pay off in the long run.

First, I was 100 percent honest, my total self in my last post. I needed to get it out, to not feel so alone, and it worked. I felt like I had hit rock bottom and then I let it all out -- to the internet and then finally to my mom and then to my husband... The lid finally popped and now I can begin to move on.

The next step I took was deleting my Facebook account. Plain and simple, Facebook just doesn't make me happy, at all. I will probably return at some point but right now I need a break.

Next I bought some new music and went to the gym, once the little ones were asleep. It was late, I was tired, but I forced myself to go and I'm so glad that I did. I ran as hard as I could and impressed myself. Nine months pregnant plus four months of almost no workouts and I can still keep up with the best of 'em; it's all mental. I made a choice to push through it, and I did. 

And I think that's something I need to re-apply to my day to day routine. Everyone keeps saying happiness is a state of mind; it's a choice. If I can run as if I've never been out of shape then I have the will power to get out of this funk. I have the will power to stop focusing on the little things in my life that are not so perfect because I have so much more to be happy about. 

I still have a long way to go, I'm just glad it's starting to get better. And I'm not ashamed to admit that today I'm not perfectly happy because (to me) I can't get better if I keep denying it.

It will get better.

xo

bear's mom 

The Baby Blues

I've been really down lately. I wouldn't normally post something like this but I don't know where else to put it. I know it's mostly a case of the baby blues but I seem to be stuck in this going-no-where isolated feeling. Being home all day, my husband being away frequently and having almost no personal time to myself is really starting to wear me down.

I'm trying so hard to be positive; deep breaths, counting, "Om-ing," eating healthy, etc. But it still continues, up and down, every day. I've also tried talking to my husband but he just doesn't get it. And I guess I can't really expect him to, with only a few brief periods to talk throughout the day, there's just no time to explain it. I need to vent, empty everything out, cry till my eyes are red, because all it's doing is sitting inside of me waiting to boil it's way up over the edge... until my metaphorical lid pops off.

What makes it worse is that I know that bear is starting to feel the effects. She absorbs my emotions and reflects them back at me. If I'm having a good day, so is she and vice versa. I need to get a grip on this, stat!

I don't think I would feel so down if we didn't live so far away from the majority of my family and friends; I frequently feel the pains of ignored phone calls and messages...

I just need a good night out with a girlfriend, a good cry, a good glass of wine, a solid 4-6 hours of sleep...

A good blog post...

Sometimes motherhood just makes you feel so alone.

Here's to improving the baby blues... Salute (Only water in my cup, promise!).

xo
bear's mom

I jumped the sleep gun...

It's been a while since I've written. We made the silly mistake of putting our computer in the bedroom, where the baby is still sleeping, leaving me no possibility to write. I've been dying to write! So much has been going on! The experience of being a mother of two is both exciting and over whelming at times. And surprisingly, a little isolating... but I'm working through all this. "This too shall pass..."

Little Miss H is now 4 months old, actually she's just a few days shy of her 5th month. We have been working on her sleeping; it took me multiple attempts over a month or two to get her to nap on her own. It still is not easy! She still tends to fight and fuss through one nap and recently started to stay up after her night feedings to play, which is unbearable at times! But I suppose it's best that it's this way the second time around. For some reason I've just accepted that I'm not going to get the sleep I need anymore... Unless I go to sleep at 7pm, which isn't possible. Some nights I'm lucky and I make it there by 9pm and miss H only wakes once briefly ~ those are the really good nights.

By four months bear was sleeping through the night and taking three predictable naps a day. I thought I was the baby-sleep-whisperer. I had conquered the biggest struggle of baby-hood! Getting baby on a schedule! So I figured with H that she would do the same; OH HOW I was wrong! It's as if the second child humbles you, those things you thought you were better at than others, well that's just your own inexperience. I know they are laughing at me now up in the heavens...

It's OK though. H is teaching me a lot. She's teaching me to go with the flow, because that's all I can really do right now. I may steer this ship but I certainly don't run it, two little people do (and sometimes my four legged yellow-haired child too...).

There's something wonderful about having a second though. It's teaching me again to be a better person and to enjoy the simple, beautiful things in life. And for that my beautiful children, I thank you!

xoxo
bear (& roo)'s mom